Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been reintroduced to a familiar enemy of mine: comparison.
My life is not so exciting, you see. I’m a stay-at-home mom (even though I work as a nurse one day a week). The highlight of our day is often heading to the grocery store or post office. See what I mean?
We are making lots of friends in our new community, but I don’t usually have a friend that I see on a daily-or even weekly-basis. I’ve never been one to have a friend with which I do everything. I go to the bathroom by myself even when I’m with other women (except now, Liam usually joins me out of necessity). I guess I’m an independent girl.
The thing is, sometimes when I’m on Facebook or Pinterest or someone’s blog, I start to believe that I’m the only one without an exciting life. What’s worse, those social mediums can start to become the standard whereby I measure my personal value.
I don’t have as many friends as so-and-so.
I must not be having as much fun as that person because I’m just not as fun of a person.
So-and-so has the coolest…everything!
How come I can’t go on as many trips as that person?
See how destructive that can be to my contentedness? Maybe I’m the only one who thinks silly things like that, but those thoughts can become the constant subliminal messages swimming in my head until I realize that I feel like I’m going to drown in despair.
That’s why sometimes I need the willpower to unplug for a while. I need to experience life as more than a means of posting things for the world to see. When we moved into our house last year, we ended up without internet for weeks, and you know what? It was sorta refreshing. Just like how we don’t have cable anymore (because our budget wouldn’t allow for it). I think I need that stuff until I don’t have it. And then I realize I live a little more fully when I don’t have it.
I want to spend a day with my family and feel happy because it made me happy and not because of how many people commented about it on Facebook. I want to read a book that speaks to me without considering how popular it is in the world today. You see, I am more than the sum of the online postings of my life. And I’ve found that sometimes I need a little space from all of that to remind me of who I am.
It doesn’t really matter if someone else has more friends than I do. All I have to do is remain faithful to the friends God has put in my life.
I have this deep, dark fear about not being fun enough. But the truth is, different people find different things fun. Who can really set the standard for someone else?
I may not have a lot of money (or the best taste, for that matter) to buy the coolest “everything”, but I’m not fulfilled by that stuff anyway.
Travel is something I love, and have been blessed enough to do, but there are seasons to things. Small children and travel don’t always mix well, anyway. I can wait. There is more to my life than the right now.
I recently saw this (ironically) on the the internet.
I think it’s true. My life will look better the less I focus on how my life is not someone else’s life.
I’m free to be me. And enjoy my life because it’s what has been given to me.